AUSTIN, Texas -- Mike Tyson's application to box in Texas was denied Friday, the latest setback in the former heavyweight champion's attempt to get a sanctioned bout against Lennox Lewis. So Tyson is now thinking about hanging up his boxing gloves and looking toward more "extreme" sports, like sport climbing, to find competition. He was qouted, immediatedly after hearing the boxing commission's decision, as saying, "Ah just wants to play, can't we all get along?". " />
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Mike Tyson a Sport Climber?


 

by Unknown

February 18, 2002

Mike Tyson a Sport Climber? AUSTIN, Texas -- Mike Tyson's application to box in Texas was denied Friday, the latest setback in the former heavyweight champion's attempt to get a sanctioned bout against Lennox Lewis. So Tyson is now thinking about hanging up his boxing gloves and looking toward more "extreme" sports, like sport climbing, to find competition. He was qouted, immediatedly after hearing the boxing commission's decision, as saying, "Ah just wants to play, can't we all get along?".

"I made my decision to deny Mr. Tyson a license based on his past behavior in the ring, his unwillingness to follow the basic rules and laws of boxing, and the fact that he is just a fat-ass bully," Kuntz said. "What we have here is a repeat offender. I have no confidence that his future behavior would differ from his past behavior."

Tyson is said to have set his new sights on sport climbing. A represenative of the newly restructured ASCF (now called the Professional Climbers Association) has indeed confirmed rumors that Tyson has approached the PCA with the intent of getting a tour card slot in the upcoming 2002-2003 season. When the representative asked Tyson's manager why he felt Tyson should be allowed to compete in sport climbing, Tyson's manager replied, "Tyson has shown that he can bully his way to the top of the boxing world. There is no reason why he could not bite and claw his way to the top of the sport climbing world too."

When asked for their response, top American climbers had definite mixed feelings about Tyson's recent interest in entering climbing competitions. One unidentified competitor said, "Duuude, there's no fuckin' way I'm like gonna get into my zone if I know Tyson is like in the isolation room with me and my bros." Another competitor had quite a different opinion on the subject. "I'd love to invite that fat fucker in here to see if he can pull his lard ass off the ground. I bet my girlfriend can pull harder than that overweight babboon. Ha, ha, did I mention he's fat."

The PCA has set March 12 as the date they will make their decision public. Until then Tyson still looks for a sport to compete in. He was last qouted as saying, "I am an extweme man, and my doctow says I need an extweme spowt to compete in. If they will not wet me box, I will puwsue a cwimbing caweer".

Whatever the hell that means.

BTW- Mike Tyson, representatives of Mike Tyson, the ASCF, the PCA, the WWF, or PETA has not, would not, and probably would never authorized our mention of their names in this article. We plead the fifth while practicing the second.

For more reading visit http://www.xmission.com/~blj/tyson/



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